Is it a battle of men vs. women?

It feels a little like that when you currently look at this world. But why does it have to be this way? It has only been about a hundred years and a bit, since women became their own people and not property of men. And my generation is the first generation of women, and other races for that matter, where we can truly live an independent life and feel we can do it on our own. But what you men don’t realize is that we don’t want to do it alone!
Yes, we had our moments of feminism and you cannot blame us for that, since we had to break free to bring change but now we don’t want to do it alone, we want to do it WITH you. We are not like men and we will never be men. We tried that for a while and became men-imitating-business-women but that does not suit us and eventually, every woman will discover, that she is not as good a man as men are. So we revert to being a woman and a good one at that and it is in our nature to be wanting to do it WITH and not without.
If you need a bit of convincing, then look into the history of men (both of our histories) and there you can see that women always worked in groups, in community and together. It is in our nature to be a connecter and organizer and not like the nature of men in competition.
But we can be in competition if we need to be, we can move mountain and we can make this world a better place and make it a home for all of us. We just prefer to do it with others, together by empowering each and every one of our family members and we humans are all a family, all of us together!
So I would vote for Hilary Clinton because she will try to chance the world by watching over her US Family and she will try to make it a better world for all of us and all of our children.
Trump was born into a world, where only the strong survive, where it is always against and take over what others cannot hold onto. He is an “against” person and do you really, really want to have him run your family? Will you give up all your rights and power over to a man like that because that is what he asks of you. He will want full control and you will have to live with the consequences!
Think deep and hard and choose who you would want in your family because the US is a family, complete with its black sheep and head of the house.
Choose WITH and see what we can achieve together!

My Travel Trailer – my home for a while









turkey vultures 

Jakyll Island

So here I am. It is Tuesday February 19th and I am in Cocoa near Cape Canaveral. I am taking a day off. I am just sitting here, downloaded Avatar the movie last night and I am watching. It is 11:13 am in the morning and I am having a pity patter day.

The thing is that nothing changes, no matter where you go or what you live in. You are who you are no matter where you are. I thought writing my book would be easier now that I am on the road, away from the old and into something different, a sunnier life … but I got frazzled yesterday just as I got frazzled at home.

Home … that is a difficult word to describe! What is home, what is a home? Is it the place where you put your head each night, most of you would say no! Is it a place where you live, not really either because other go away from home and live somewhere for work but would never call it home. What is home? I think it is where you say you are at home.

I have always been easy with calling each and every new place my home and home it is. My caravan is now home and I feel good in it. I love the way it is, it molds around me, where I have all I need … a comfortable bed, a fridge, a toilet, a small kitchen and my computer.

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I have to be honest, writing this, giving you this very personal view into my life, the workings of my mind is not easy for me. However I believe it is important to write about this, so here I go.

Control dramas, how you try to control the attention that people give you, the way you behave automatically to gain others attention is a pattern and that pattern is created very early on in life.

Mine was created when a friend of the family molested me. I was only 3 ½ years old so some of the memories are hazy but by how I react now, I can estimate on how and what I wanted back then.

So here I was, small and cute and a single child. I know I loved the attention of adults and this guy was a friend of my favorite uncle and I loved being in the middle of all of that, getting attention. My parents did not know what happened till I found out a couple of years ago and when I asked them who it could have been, it was around the carnival time (February or March in Germany) that they were at our house, my mother only came up with this guy and said he seemed so nice! So I guess, I wanted to be liked by him and wanted his attention since “he seemed so nice” and I was little and wanted to get attention.

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A few years ago, I was in love with a wonderful man. We fell in love and our love lasted one year almost to the day. He helped me rediscover myself after my divorce and made me want to be more and better than I had ever dreamed of being. He saw who I am deep inside and he wanted to see all of me, the good, the bad and the ugly and he also saw the very great in me. He introduced me to all of me and our love was built on that. I gave the same back and we got to know each other so deeply that we became grew to become the holder of the space for the other.

Maybe this phrase is unfamiliar to you. It means that there is that one person who can see to what heights you are truly able to grow to and who you truly are at your essence that is blocked so often by fears and held back through programming.

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This article is about the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and how to make them work for you. Since the article would be too long to discuss all 4 agreements here, I have broken them down to 4 articles.

I know that some of you have heard about the book, even read it and feel completely overwhelmed on how to implement these 4 agreements. In this article I would like to discuss how to work on the second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally and how to implement this agreement in your life.

Over the years I have done much work on freeing myself from trauma, unhappiness and pain that seemed to always have been part of my life but now that I have worked past much of it, it was only where I was looking and what I was afraid of that kept me in that state. As Ruiz said in the book The Four Agreements, we are all caught up in the matrix of this world. You can call it Matrix, the Human Consciousness, The Human Dream or all the agreements within our human existence. We keep each other unhappy and in pain, miserable and locked up. Our school system is the best example. We are taught to behave, are fed knowledge on how to become a good worker and how to live by everyone else’s rules. We are not taught how to live as we truly are as happy and healthy beings who value themselves and others around us, we are not matured, we are educated!

So when we grow up, we feel often unhappy with the life we are living or we allow others to abuse ourselves or we abuse ourselves or we just feel there should be more to life than there is. But we don’t know what to do about it, we don’t know where to go for help, we don’t know what to do next. And because we don’t know we numb our feelings down with too much work, TV, spending, drugs, alcohol, food, busy-buys life and all other ways we step away from what is truly going on inside.

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Steve Jobs Quote – On character

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”     [Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]

This statement is so true. I can vouch for that with my own life. Looking back I can truly see how every move or everything that came into my life or was taken fitted exactly with the rest and was the next puzzle piece missing.

I also have learned over the past years that trusting what is being presented to you right this moment is what is needed, even if you are not happy about it. The truth is that what you ask for, if it is best for you as seen by the universe, it will appear. If you ask what is not good for you right now, you will not receive it. And sometimes there are test at the end of a life lesson that needs to be passed The universe gives you the old option, the one you always chose before the lesson, and the new option and it’s up to you to pass the test to move on to the next chapter.

Even here, you can clearly only see the tests and how life changed for the better when you passed the test. But looking back you can fully see how you went along a journey to learn and it culminated in a test.

Some of the times you go on an excursion off the beaten tracks and only years later will it make sense. That’s how Steve Jobs felt with Apple.


Let me know some of your stories, the dots that connect your lives.

I wish you much love, happiness and success for 2012.


Hi all,

I have been gone for a while and I am sorry.  I have been going through a bunch of changes, actually exponential changes and I am on the top of the curve, not quite there yet.

Have you ever considered if it is easier to live or die? Death is an easy way out. It’s going back home to mother where you are loved. But you have not fulfilled your mission you were on but you are loved anyways.

Is that not an easier way or a less horrible road to travel?

But then there is the leaving behind of the loved ones. The ones who do not deserve that you are cutting out!

Which is the right way, pain and torture in the here and now or bliss and love in the afterlife?

Well, if you think dying is the choice, then I hope you will stay and listen.

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The feeling of being lost grows so strong

That nothing but filling the whole seems wrong

The fear of vanishing if the urge is not filled

The fear that pushes you on or wilt


Nothing but the drug of your choice

Fills your head, becomes your voice

“Just a little” and you feel calm once more

But the monster waits right through that door


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